Spring Equinox 2012

March 24, 2012 Jenna Sundell Poetry

A million diamonds sparkled the sky
Steady air streams pushed us into the wash
We sat, on solid earth next to creaking brush
And unseen things creeping by, curious
     of our little group of pilgrims

We sat, some eyes open, others closed
The gale intensified, holding our backs up straight
Desert power peeled away layers of the world
Sand swirling round and
Suddenly dropping to the cold, yielding ground

We sat, absorbed in silence; we chose to hold
Still
The wind did its work, polishing rough edges
Dissolving ego and rock and tree
Peace permeated every cell and
Spread like Spring’s sweet scent
With a smile, we rose
Meditation cushions packed away
We marched into the howling tempest
And watched stars disappear into cloud-covered night

We sat, in morning light, the mountain ridge filled with white
Sun and rain fell from the sky
Nature’s prism splitting colors, stretching from snow to desert floor –
A final gift for all who came to see more

                                                      ~jenna sundell 3/24/2012

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Relationships & the Path

December 30, 2011 Jenna Sundell Meditation

Relationships are the toughest part of the Path.

When we are alone, dealing only with our own thoughts and hang-ups, it’s very simple to feel Eternity. We simply sit and dissolve into meditation, into Light. We let go completely. (Notice I said simple, not easy.)

When we add a relationship into our practice, whether it’s friends or something more intimate like a mate, it complicates things. Suddenly, in the middle of feeling absolutely as One with Eternity, there is this other person, smiling at us, wanting to spend time with us, showing us there is Two.

Casual friends understand when it’s time for us to meditate; it’s easy for us to close our eyes to them, and the friends disappear. We know if they are truly our friends, they will understand.

But how do we do it when we have connected with an intimate partner? Is it that simple, to close our eyes?

Yes and No. (Typical Buddhist answer, sorry.)

The practice of seated, silent meditation is the foundation for all other aspects of practice. So yes, we must give time for ourselves to dissolve into the Light, alone and united with all that is.

In our movement on earth as humans, we use the relationship with our partner as an opportunity to experience Love manifest. We look into our partner, and see the One, the Beloved. With practice, we can extend this to everyone we meet. But in the beginning, we start with just one other person.

With true love, not the conditional crap of: do this for me and I’ll give you affection, but real love, there is total respect and trust. Respect for oneself and respect for the Beloved. Trust that we know our own path, and our Beloved knows his or her path. We know sometimes those paths will be together, and sometimes not, and that love rules all action no matter what.

Is it easy to find someone with whom you can experience that level of total trust and respect and love? In this world, it is a challenge because of the deep mistrust and suffering, and because having that type of relationship requires getting over yourself while at the same time taking care of your own needs, supporting your beloved in his or her goals, and caring for the relationship you two create. Do such relationships exist? YES! Is it a ton of work? YES! Is it worth it? YES!

Your ideal partner may or may not meditate. He/She may or may not be interested in talking about spirituality. Sometimes it’s easier to be with someone who is not doing the same practice. Sometimes it’s more fun to be with someone who is.

In other words, don’t block yourself from interacting with someone just because they don’t meditate and are not interested in talking about spiritual development.

All that’s important is if they support your practice.

And if your practice is truly important to you – that is, you meditate and practice mindfulness no matter what – then you won’t be around someone who doesn’t support it for very long. There simply won’t be room in your life for someone who impedes your practice.

Relationships, while challenging, provide us with a tremendous opportunity for growth. Not everyone needs or wants an intimate relationship. That type of relationship is not necessary. But having at least one other person with whom you feel completely comfortable helps you see where you really are on the Path. After all, it’s those we love the most who we often treat the worst – because we have taken down the barriers and the masks we use to face the world. When we face Eternity, ready to dissolve into Enlightenment, there will be no masks, no barriers. So having someone to call our Beloved prepares us for that Eternal Moment.

~Jenna Sundell

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Opposition is Opportunity

December 7, 2011 Jenna Sundell Meditation

When we meet Opposition on our path, we have reached a Decision Point. Opposition is an opportunity to ask:

~Do I have doubts about what I’m doing right now? Are my doubts valid?
With the issue of doubt resolved, we move forward through opposition with renewed conviction and excitement.

~Am I approaching this project correctly?
Opposition can be an indicator that we have missed something. Perhaps there is a typo of the resume we’re having trouble sending. We may hit traffic when we need an attitude adjustment before we reach our destination.

~Is there a better opportunity for me than the one on this road?
When we are so focused on traveling on the path in front of us, opposition can help us see what other doors are open to us.

By recognizing opposition as an opportunity, the roadblocks that once frustrated us can serve us. These bumps in the road can remind us to not only watch where we going, but also make sure we’re heading where we really want to go.

~Jenna Sundell

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Strange and Powerful Dreams

November 10, 2011 Jenna Sundell Uncategorized

11/10/2011

For the past two nights, I’ve had strange and powerful dreams. Most of the time when I sleep, I dream simple, silly dreams. Sometimes I see my meditation students in the dream plane, and we sit together or go on interesting journeys. Once in a while I get to see Rama, my beloved Teacher, in a dream and I always wake up incredibly happy and high. These past two mornings I’ve woken in a similar state of bliss, but I didn’t see Rama.

The night before last, I became conscious in a dream where I was in a windowless room with a small group of people. A person dressed all in black holding a gun was holding us hostage. The person – man or woman I could not tell – asked in a desperate voice what fun or amazing things we had done. This person was looking for a reason to live and let us live. No one spoke; all eyes looked to the floor. Breaking the silence, I said, “I’m a Buddhist monk, and that has been a fun and amazing adventure.” The others stared in disbelief. The gun-toting person covered in black clothing sat down next to me. We talked about Buddhism and the spiritual life for a long time. I woke feeling happy and peaceful.

Early this morning, after sunrise, I drifted back to sleep. I was walking down a long hallway that reminded me of a school. A man was walking in the opposite direction, towards me, but on the other side of the hallway. As we drew closer, we seemed to recognize each other. He moved over so our paths would cross. He asked if I was doing all right and if I needed anything. I recognized him as Adi Da, whom I had never met before. I wanted the interaction to continue, so I held up my watch. I told him sometimes I get confused about time, and asked him if the watch read 11:30. I could clearly see the time, and he knew I was just asking him so we could have an interaction. He nodded and we both laughed. Then he looked me in the eyes and said, “Ten more years.” We parted, he going his direction down the hallway, and me going mine. I woke once again in an extremely high and happy state.

There is a power in these dreams; I can feel it even now. The one with Adi Da seems the strangest to me. I have never met him; I recognized his face from the few pictures I’ve seen. I know his name only because some Rama students went to study with him after Rama died. I’ve enjoyed a few lines of his teachings from posts by Facebook friends, but I don’t know much about him. Years ago, I had purchased his book The Liberator and put it on my very full “want to read” bookshelf. Perhaps it’s time to read it. I suppose I’ll have to practice patience while I wait to find out what Adi Da meant by “ten more years.” In ten years, it will be 11-10-2021… I wonder if there’s anything significant predicted for that date.

What powerful dreams have you had recently?

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Taking Refuge – published in Awareness Magazine

November 10, 2011 Jenna Sundell Meditation, Peace with Chronic Pain

My article “Taking Refuge” was published in Awareness Magazine, in the November/December issue with the angels and holiday theme. Learn about this powerful Buddhist practice, and how it can help you today.

If you cannot find a print copy, don’t worry – you can check it out online here: http://awarenessmag.com/november-december-2011/november-december-2011-page18.html 

I’d love to hear your comments!

7 comments

Terminal Sentence article in Vision Magazine

October 13, 2011 Jenna Sundell Peace with Chronic Pain

Hi!

Vision Magazine published an excerpt of my upcoming book, Peace with Chronic Pain, in their October 2011 issue.

Check it out, and let me know what you think!
http://www.visionmagazine.com/archives/1110/1110_viewpoint_terminal_sentence.html

Thanks!
~Jenna

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Tips for Dealing with Pain Flares

September 22, 2011 Jenna Sundell Peace with Chronic Pain

We meditate, we practice mindfulness, we pace ourselves – and yet, sometimes we still find ourselves in a severe flare of pain. For many us, the first instinct is to push through it. Our thinking becomes muddled by pain, and we forget about pacing. Next to go is our practice of mindfulness, and we find ourselves frustrated and depressed. And in this state, it’s difficult to remember meditation is the way out of suffering.

Here is a list of tips to deal with severe pain flares from my book, Peace with Chronic Pain. These are all things to do at home, because it’s not everyday we can get to our favorite body worker. And even when we do see the chiropractor or acupuncturist or massage therapist, it’s easy to undo their work. Try these tips out and see if they work for you. For the benefit of others who find this page, please add your own tips in the comments!

 

  • Treat your body like a sacred object. After all, it is a manifestation of God.

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  • Meditate everyday. Even a few minutes of meditation can boost your energy and improve your mood. When you don’t feel like sitting is often the time you need it the most.

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  • Maintain your mind through the practice of mindfulness. Pay attention to your thoughts and constantly direct them to higher and happier states of mind, no matter what is happening to or around you. Focus on beauty and gratitude to pull you up, and strive to see the positive side of every situation you encounter.

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  • Practice pacing and be mindful of your body at all times. If an action you are performing (or a position you are sitting or laying in) is increasing your pain, make the appropriate adjustments. If you cannot do it differently, then take a break until the pain recedes. An example: You’re putting three plates in the cabinet at a time and your pain is increasing. Start putting just one plate away at a time. It may take longer, but you’ll be in less pain when you’re done.

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  • Heat up a hot pack, or put on a cold pack. If you feel heat coming from your muscles, the cold pack will most likely work the best. If your muscles feel unbearably tight, try the hot pack. You can also try alternating them every twenty minutes to help get the circulation going. When the whole body is in spasm, hot packs on your lower back and neck can calm things down.

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  • Stretch like a cat. Cats stretch every time they get up. Even if they jump up in fright, once the threat is gone, they stop and stretch. There’s no regimented way to stretch; do whatever feels good at the moment, giving all of your muscles the opportunity to lengthen before moving around, before settling into bed for the night, and during long rests on the couch. Remember, a stretch is never painful – rather, it is a gentle pulling sensation.

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  • Roll your ankles in small circles, first in one direction, then the other. Roll your shoulders gently, one at a time. Roll your neck. Be aware of any resistance as you roll; if it hurts, try rolling the opposite direction or change the size of the circle. Never force a movement; if your body doesn’t want to roll that way, it’s OK. Do only a few rolls at a time.

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  • Use a Theracane self-massage tool daily. This tool looks like a long hook with a variety of knobs, which allows you to massage your entire body with minimal strain. It costs around $40 and comes with an instruction book.

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  • Take lots of breaks. While you are resting, DO NOTHING. Reading a book or magazine takes energy and uses your brain, arms and hands, which means reading is not resting. If you need something to keep your mind busy, then watch a video or listen to music.

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  • If you have one, plug in your TENS unit. The pulsing of the electrodes interrupts the pain signals coming from your muscles. If you don’t have one, ask your doctor or chiropractor if one would help your pain.

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  • Use a pillow on your lap while driving to relive arm and shoulder pain. This is especially helpful on the way home from receiving bodywork at the chiropractor or physical therapist. I keep a u-shaped travel pillow in the car. When I’m driving, I rest my arms on it so I can reach the steering wheel without my shoulders having to hold my arms up. When I’m a passenger, I use the pillow to support my neck.

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  • Learn to say NO without guilt, sadness, anger, or remorse. You are the only one who knows what your body can tolerate today. Respect your body by declining to do things that increase pain, or by leaving early. Remember to check-in with your body frequently because things can change from hour to hour. You do not need to explain yourself to anyone; if you feel the need to say something before leaving, let your friend know you’re tired and need to rest.

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  • Remember all people have something going on in their life with the potential to cause suffering. While chronic pain is certainly very difficult to live with, others also face challenges everyday that intrude on their peace of mind.

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  • Warm baths help to soothe sore muscles. If you don’t have a bathtub, then soak your feet in a large pan or in one of the many foot bath/spa products available. Bath salts vary widely, and I’ve found some to be more helpful than others. In my experience, Himalayan Crystal Salt is the best, but hard to find. My next choice is Dead Sea Salt. If you cannot find either of these, then try plain Sea Salt or Epsom Salt. Lavender oil (check to make sure it’s real lavender, and not just fragrance) is also helpful, as it has a relaxing effect.

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  • A spa pillow for the bathtub is helpful. You can also try rolling up a washcloth to provide cushioning for your neck and head in the tub.

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  • Keep a variety of pillows for your bed and your couch, so you can switch whenever you need to. Placing a pillow between or under your knees can help relieve pressure points.

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  • Headphones and a CD or MP3 player with relaxing music on your nightstand will give you something to focus on as you let your body rest during the nights you wake up and cannot fall back asleep.

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  • Always be positive, optimistic, and realistic.

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    Thank you (in advance) for sharing what works for you in the comments! 

    4 comments

    The Simple Path

    September 15, 2011 Jenna Sundell Meditation
    (This is an excerpt from the transcript of the 3/5/11 class lecture at Dharma Center. Special thanks to A.C. for recording & typing the transcripts!)
     

    The path itself is so, so simple. But you guys like to make it very complicated, it’s funny.  (laughs)  But really the entire path is: you control the focus of your mind in all of your activities, and then every day – or twice a day is better – you sit in silence and let the light do whatever it will. That’s the whole path!  (laughs) That’s it, okay, goodbye!  (laughs)

    But we’re so conditioned to be always doing, always thinking, always having this inner monologue running along, it makes it very difficult just to sit and listen. 

    So, the first part of the practice, learning how to control the focus of your mind – now in how the world is at this stage of our development, how our society is, you hear the word ‘control’ and you think of power. And you think of putting up a border because you know there’s only a certain amount of area that you can control. So in essence you start to withdraw. You suck in and say “Okay I can only control my room or my house or my car” and really you can’t control any of those things. So you say “Okay well I’m going to just work on controlling my body.” And guess what, you can’t control that either!  (laughs)  You can influence it. You can take care of it to the best of your ability, which I highly recommend because it’s more energy efficient. If you take care of your body and your world you can have a lot more fun in it! 

    But when it comes down to control, all you can control is where you focus your mind, what you pay attention to. And that’s really not all that much, but it’s everything at the same time. Because by controlling where you place your attention the result of that is the ability to influence your perception of your environment. You alter your mind state through that control of perception, through that control of focus. 

    We use beauty and gratitude as tools to help us learn how to live in the higher and brighter mind states. Through practicing you start to figure out that “Oh if I start looking at things through the eyes of beauty or the eyes of gratitude, things look a little differently than they do if I’m looking through the eyes of self-pity or anger or sorrow.” And that’s an experience that you have, and really that’s the only way that you can fully learn and appreciate that teaching, is you have to experience it. Which means you have to pay attention. Which is another level of controlling the focus of your mind. 

    If you’re not controlling what you’re focusing on, you kind of just space out and you’re not really aware of what you’re looking at. But if you start to pay attention – we’ve talked about this a thousand times – paying attention is that first crucial step, of just looking at: Where is your mind? What thoughts are going through it? What are you being drawn to focus on over and over again? And then at that point you can seize control and decide “Is this where I want to place my attention? Is this what I want to create in my life? Is this what I want to grow?” 

    It’s very similar to planting a garden. If you want the flowers to grow, you pay attention to those. You give them fertilizer, you give them water, you make sure they have the right amount of sun. But rather if you want the weeds to grow, you pay attention to the weeds and you give them water and you give them sun and fertilizer. And then the weeds will grow! The process is the same, but most people enjoy the flowers more than the weeds. So it’s a purely logical thing that you would focus on the bright and beautiful things in your life. One is not inherently better than the other. Just one will serve you, one will be more functional. Simply because when you live in brighter, happier, higher mind states they are higher, which means you have a better view. 

    The other half of the path is giving yourself that time to simply sit and be still both physically and internally. We have lots of different techniques and tools we can use to achieve that. But the number one thing is giving yourself time to actually do that, every single day. Like I said, sitting in meditation twice a day is better. It works better if you do it twice a day…

    ~Jenna

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    Reaching for Enlightenment (a poem for Rama)

    August 27, 2011 Jenna Sundell Meditation, Poetry
    I wrote this for Rama, and after his death in 1998, I posted it on www.Ramalila.com where students were finding each other. Lynne found my poem and then me, and we discovered we were neighbors. We quickly became friends, and from that friendship, Dharma Center was born.

     

    The ethereal being
    In the ocean of your eyes
    Drowns me in the sunshine of love,
    Yet it is not the form
    That I love,
    But the essence.

    I reach out to touch you,
    But you slip between my fingers
    Like a ripple on a pond,
    Cascading over me,
    Softly, gently –
    Whispering through me
    Like a cool summer’s breeze.

    In the silence of my mind
    You shatter the darkness,
    Fierce and brilliant
    Like sunrise in the desert,
    Glowing gold and red
    Across a silent indigo night.

    I see you as I walk alone
    In the blooming of a rose
    And in the delicate drop of dew
    That lies in rest upon its velvet petals.

    I feel you as the sunshine
    Pouring down from the heavens,
    And I sit with open hands
    Beneath the blazing flame –
    But the endless rays cannot be contained
    By the limits of my form.

    In the evening sky,
    I watch you as a shooting star,
    And passion propels me
    Like a river rushing to the sea
    To unite with the light of that star,
    As it burns its form
    To reveal the essence
    That I love.

    (1994)

    9 comments

    Body Stuff – Experience & Labels (an excerpt)

    August 20, 2011 Jenna Sundell Peace with Chronic Pain

    I’m completing the missing chapters of “Peace with Chronic Pain” and this is an excerpt from a work in progress. The agent wanted me to include my personal experience with pain, so this is from the chapter, “My Experiences, My Labels”

    Please post a comment and let me know your reaction to this piece.
    Thank YOU!!!

    ****************************For 14 years I’ve lived with chronic pain, 24/7, every moment of every day pain. It began when I was 27, right in the middle of my fantastic and successful life as a Buddhist monk, computer consultant, writer, and happy homemaker. Doctors labeled my body issues with a long list of names like TMJ Dysfunction, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Chronic Myofascial Pain, Endometriosis, Chronic Ovarian Cysts, Interstitial Cystitis, and Lyme disease with co-infections like Babesia and Bartonella. There were gallstones spilling out of my gallbladder, but the stones and the gallbladder were removed with surgery. I celebrated the victory over vomiting, even though it took two years and a trip to the ER to find the cause. In a happy coincidence, the gallbladder surgery also fixed the Irritable Bowel Syndrome, but not before I learned where the bathroom is in every store in every neighborhood I’ve ever visited. Years later, the antibiotic treatment for Lyme disease and Toxoplasmosis cured me of my stomach acid and GERD. Again I celebrated – one less pill, whoo-hoo! The antibiotics also stopped the drunken loopyness that made me fall down at random moments (yea!); apparently my alcohol-free drunken moments were caused by the Toxoplasmosis. However, even after a full year of antibiotic treatment, the pain persists within my body. The constant pain and fatigue limit my activity and force me under the label “disabled” and onto the couch for frequent rest breaks.

    I’ve eaten mountains of pills, gone on strict diet regimens, and seen every type of MD, DO, DC, PT, and alternative care practitioner known in America. I’ve consulted Tibetan doctors, Chinese medicine specialists, and those skilled in Ayurveda. I’ve worn mouth splints to relax my jaw and used special pain relieving creams and massage tools and heating packs in all sizes, shapes and scents. A selection of ice packs dominates a section of my freezer, and I always have lavender bubble bath on hand to soothe my hundred-plus trigger points. My friend even dragged me to a psychic healer who could only tell me he saw toxins in my body, but couldn’t tell me where they were from or offer a solution to remove them. This prompted yet another batch of experiments, to purify the cells of my body.

    With every suggestion of a possible cure, or even a modicum of relief, I willingly boarded the roller coaster of hope and despair those of us with pain know all too well. We eagerly hear about the details as the cart goes click-click-click up the hill. We begin the treatment as we whoosh down the hill, filled with excitement and fear. Then the first corner nearly takes us out…the treatment doesn’t seem to be doing anything. But, wait, maybe I feel a little stronger, a little more energetic – we go up another hill, filling with hope. We rush down and around again and again, as the despair sets in and we realize the treatment didn’t work the way we expected and we are suddenly back to where we started.

    Even though I know that ride well, I still get tempted to hop on for a spin. I do it because there have been things that help some, and a little bit of relief is often worth the risk. Now that I’m older and have more experience, I look carefully before jumping on. I check to see what else is going on in my life before I decide to begin the next experiment. I’ve learned I need to choose my projects with discretion, whether they are body, writing, or teaching related. We never know exactly how the body will react to anything we put it through, and sometimes we wind up worse off than before. So I’ve learned to explore my options slowly, with eyes wide open.

    Through all of these experiences and all of these labels, the one I allow myself to hold onto in my mind is Buddhist monk. My spiritual practice is my saving grace. At the end of the day, even when I get completely spun out from whatever particular roller coaster I find myself riding, I remember why I’m here in this body. In the light of spiritual growth, a malfunctioning body doesn’t matter so much, and can even be a blessing. As I’ve often said to my students, it is only when we decide we have suffered enough, we finally devote ourselves to the spiritual path. My days begin and end with meditation, and I strive to be present and mindful of all the moments in between. This body, with all of its complaints, is one of my greatest teachers. It forces me into the present with its screaming pain. The fatigue makes me sit when I want to run away. This body has taught me respect, kindness, and patience. Even though I still whine on occasion, for all of that, I am grateful.

    Probably the toughest thing to explain is the realization that me and my body can have very different experiences at the same time. Yes, the body is in severe pain. No, I’m not bummed out about it; I’m actually feeling the ecstasy of this moment. Yes, I would like my body to work normally. Yes, I miss hiking for ten miles in the mountains and practicing Aikido and the feel of my muscles working. Now in my muscles, I just feel the burning and aching and the random stabbing, not to mention how they don’t always cooperate when I have plans for them. But that’s not enough to destroy my peace of mind because I know with every fiber of my being I am not this fragile body. This body is my vehicle, and I am responsible for taking care of it to the best of my ability. This vehicle, which allows me to have experiences in this crazy, wonderful, human world of all possible mind states, is precious. And even with its disability, this precious body is able to take me where I need to go to grow and share the light of Enlightenment in this world.

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